I’ll tell you very honestly, even if it might sound pretentious, but for several weeks now, I’ve had the feeling that I can die.
Indeed, something dies in us when we leave behind identity mechanisms.
I’ve looked everywhere, I’ve checked regarding my children, and I humbly feel that I can let go of my entire life now, if necessary. Even though I have no idea how I would handle it if the situation arose.
That’s what we do here, dying before dying. And when one day you let go of the last piece of your identity, you don’t know if you’ll survive, you don’t know if you’re going to die or not, I’m well aware of that. Death remains as an option.
Being ready to die is the next topic we’ll discuss. In the video I shared with you, the director, during his clinical study in hospices, discovered many things I didn’t know about. For example, that clocks stop when someone dies, or that sometimes you can see light around the person, or smoke coming out of their body. When I heard all this, I was very surprised.
When my mother died, I was with someone who was sensitive to these kinds of manifestations, and we clearly heard a crack in the hospital room, a crack I had never heard before and never heard since. And this person told me: “That’s it, she’s leaving now…”
Then we had to organize the cremation, and I had two options for choosing the funeral home. I looked at the time, and it exactly matched the number of one of the two companies…. And everything was like that, we just had to follow the signs.
It happened exactly the same way when my mother died, and also when my father died. I really had the feeling that everything was written in advance and we just had to follow the signs. It’s probably always like that, but we’re not aware of it most of the time.
There was this completely crazy guy who was convinced that my mother wasn’t going to die because he had to save the world with her. So I had to ban him from the hospital. Several times I left the room exactly when he arrived in the hallway, and I was able to intercept him. It was like that, I wasn’t doing it on purpose, everything happened with magical coincidences. At one point, this guy arrives and starts talking nonsense, and suddenly I let out a burp… you can’t imagine! And this friend I mentioned earlier looks at me and says: “Ah, you know how to transmute negative energy!” So yes, when someone dies, things happen.
And apparently these phenomena are recurring. Nurses know about them, but often they don’t dare talk about it because they’re afraid of being taken for crazy and prevented from practicing their profession.
I heard the testimony of a nurse who did research, a very interesting small scientific protocol around death. She tells that in her ward there was a dying patient, paralyzed, who really couldn’t do anything anymore. She started providing care, and at one point the dying person got up from his bed and very clearly told her: “Let me die in peace!” and then fell back on his bed.
Even paralyzed people can regain full lucidity for a few seconds.
Yes, because he actually got out of his bed when it was impossible, and these words: “Let me die in peace” really struck her.
That’s what we need to remember! When you detect the signs, let the person die in peace and have the machines turned off. Above all, you need to plan not to be hooked up to machines. And when there’s pain, from what I understand, even high-dose morphine can’t prevent the person from experiencing their death consciously. I didn’t know that, I always thought it put people to sleep and they weren’t conscious of anything anymore; but that’s not the case at all, despite the high doses of morphine.
And here’s another important thing to remember, the ears function until the last second most of the time. So the dying person hears everything, even if they can’t say anything anymore, even if they can’t move anymore. You really need to be careful what you say in their presence.
When Buddhists accompany a dying person with the Bardo, they consider that they can hear well beyond death. They talk to them when they leave the body, then for 21 days, to continue guiding them.
When my father died, I was abroad and had to take a plane. When I arrived, my father had already passed away the night before. I went to see him, he was lying in the coffin, I talked to him and I was almost certain he could hear me! For me it’s very clear that he didn’t leave right away, he was happy I was there, and totally at peace.
There was another really strange phenomenon. Temporarily, in my mother’s presence, I became my father. I did everything with my mother to organize the funeral. In her presence, I became my father, and for her it was reassuring that I acted like him. Incredible!
But it happened completely naturally.
But did you consciously put yourself in your father’s shoes, or did it impose itself on you?
It imposed itself on me, it just fell on me. I was both him and me, and I felt very ecstatic. This is the first time I’m talking about it. There are really strange phenomena around death, it’s important to explore them.
In one of his books, Wolinsky talks about one of his students who had just died. He explains that he was at his bedside right after his death, that he accompanied him to help him get rid of his identity, to leave more peacefully, and it took some time before he left.
This aligns with what Dr. Peter Fenwick was saying. Some people leave peacefully because they’ve already done the work before, and others, who are in attachment, have difficulty leaving and have a difficult death. So when you see someone in difficulty, it’s important to help them. Simply through your presence, possibly a few words, so they can let go. There’s also the fact that some people are apparently able to get additional time before dying. That’s really incredible!
I experienced that with my father. When he was about to die, we three children were gathered around him. Yet he wouldn’t let go, he had trouble leaving. I have a cousin who had lived with us for a while, many years before, and who was kind of the fourth child of the family. He went to see him a week later, and the following night my father died. We felt that he needed to come too for the family to be complete and for my father to be able to leave!
That gives me lots of tools for when the time to die comes. After my mother’s death, it became obvious to me that when I die, I’ll see them again, my parents, my ancestors. And the lineage, of course.
And it would be great if we made an arrangement between us; if someone feels they’re going to die, they should give us a sign!
Jean-Jacques Charbonnier, an anesthesiologist, has written several books about death, near-death experiences, and people who come back from them. As an anesthesiologist, he was deeply moved by many NDE accounts from his patients. Currently, he’s conducting experiments where he puts volunteers into a hypnotic trance, which allows them to have experiences identical to NDEs. He has developed a protocol that seems to be a kind of hypnosis. I saw photos of people sitting in a comfortable chair, visibly guided by the doctor, and these people all tell more or less the same thing: the tunnel, loved ones waiting for them…
The English nurse I was talking about earlier developed a whole protocol; she notably placed crosses in different places, above machines for example, signs visible only from above. If some patients come back after clinical death, she questions them about what they saw during their journey in the resuscitation room.
I saw a report about a guy who was doing research on out-of-body experiences. He too had developed a protocol with certain messages placed high above cabinets. And when people return to their bodies, he asks them if they saw the message, which seems totally impossible if there isn’t a real out-of-body experience, if it’s just a fantasy.
Out-of-body experiences really exist.
I experienced an out-of-body experience: I must have been 7-8 years old and I fainted. My parents went to get the neighbor who was a nurse, and she gave me mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. And I saw her from the ceiling, and I was thinking: “But she’s kissing me! She’s kissing me!” And then I woke up.
This is the first time I’m talking about it!
Sometimes during surgical procedures, there are people who wake up because the anesthesia didn’t work properly, and it happens that they leave their body. They go up to the ceiling, watch the surgeons, and also hear everything they say. When they return, they can describe everything, it’s incredible! And there are other cases where patients wake up during anesthesia and are in terrible pain. They feel the pain as if there was no anesthesia, but they’re in a state of tetany, so they can neither communicate nor move. It happens more often than we think.
It happened to me during my tonsil operation, I woke up in the middle of the operation, with intense pain. I couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, it was horrible.
Sometimes we also have the premonition that we’re going to die. A 25-year-old man, married, started organizing everything in his life, making his will, putting everything in order even though everything was fine. This was a few months before his death. And the guy died in an accident at work. He was participating in an observation flight, and the plane crashed. It was completely out of his control, it couldn’t have been autosuggestion. What’s interesting about this example is that one might have thought he was depressed when he prepared all this, and that this depression could have led him to death, but the way it happened shows that wasn’t the case.
My father told me he was going to live for two more years, and that’s exactly what happened, he died two years later. I think there are many people who know they’re going to die, but they don’t talk about it, they keep it to themselves.
There are also many people who don’t want to admit it to themselves, even if they pick up signs, they’re too afraid of death to validate this information.
That’s probably why they don’t talk about it.
There are those who don’t talk about it because their surroundings aren’t ready to hear it, and others because they themselves aren’t ready to hear it.
Here it would be good to talk about it, if an intuition comes to you about this.
My father died in a car accident, a collision with a truck that cut him off. A few months before, my father had redone his house, organized everything, had reconnected with many people, arranged to see people to clarify relationships, and three months later he died.
And Yves Garel also did his tour with his Mini Cooper, he went to see all the people who were important to him all over France. He told me: “This is the last time we’ll meet.” He knew he was going to die, he had cancer.
This is exactly the work we do here, dying before dying. The work on original belief, attachments, identity mechanisms, it’s about dying to oneself, it’s the same process.
Yes, what struck me, in cases of people dying, is the dissolution of identity. It really made me think of our work here.
I heard the testimony of a woman who, since she had come back to life after her NDE, had radically changed, even in terms of her character.
Yes, following NDEs, most people experience this radical change.
What happens during the NDE is a kind of shaktipat, an immense shaktipat.
I heard about a woman who had an NDE a long time ago and what had marked her was obviously the tunnel, the beings of light, but also the fact that she had heard the question “How have you loved?” After her return, answering this question became her reason for living.
And apparently at a certain point during an NDE, there’s sometimes the possibility of really dying or coming back.
And sometimes the person is sent back without having a choice.
Those who have experienced it also testify that during the out-of-body experience, their problems, their profession, and even everything related to their family, all that disappears in a snap of the fingers, it no longer exists. But when the choice to return presents itself, it’s often in relation to something that hasn’t been accomplished, probably in relation to the basic value.
And what’s incredible is that often, these are incurable patients, and they come back healed.
I see it as a second chance!
To finish things, to do your « si-do ».
Death is also the « si-do » of a life… What I essentially retain, when we’re going to die, is to let go of everything. And even all the functional stuff, everything we leave behind…
There are many things we can do beforehand.
Yes, we’ve already talked about everything that is foresight. And you have to check the documents from time to time, because things evolve in life.
So letting go of everything… And for me this “letting go of everything” is equivalent to what I call existential relaxation. Letting go of everything, we can do it throughout the day, regularly, when there’s a pause. Physically, mentally, emotionally, going into the void, and letting go of everything. I might have been very active just before, for example answering emails, or preparing meals, but when I let go of everything, when I’m in existential relaxation, there is only here and now. This is what awaits us when we’re going to die, death happens in the present.
So we can really prepare like this. Letting go of everything, but really everything, means attachments, not thinking about anything anymore, as if we were dying. And little by little, this relaxation becomes the basis of one’s existence. It’s the same relaxation that occurs when we fall asleep, and which, progressively, can become permanent. From time to time, we come out of it to act at the functional level, and then we return to existential relaxation.
Going towards death is like going on a journey. In the preceding weeks, there are things to organize, you have to prepare for the journey, you’re in action. Once everything is ready, you go to the airport…
And there you put your fate in the pilot’s hands! 🙂
… you sit in the plane, and there you let go of everything.
When I relax, especially before falling asleep, and I’m really in this existential relaxation, I see the basic value springing forth.
Yes, feeling the basic value, in body consciousness, is part of it. And we can add a feeling of satisfaction, of fullness and of gratitude
I love this moment of dissolution, just before sleep. But I can’t find that quality during the day, because there’s always a kind of tension in the background, things to do…
But it can be learned! For example, you can prepare a corner at home where you go regularly for five minutes, and where you let go of everything. It can even be done on the toilet.
And little by little, when you do it regularly, you stay in existential relaxation. You need to listen to yourself to know when it’s necessary to take a few minutes. Usually, I take a walk, or I go outside in the sun, or I lie in my bed, and I let go of everything. At some point I re-emerge, and the things to do appear to me, so I get up and do what came to me. And maybe one day nothing will come anymore. Each time we let go of everything, it’s a little death.